permeability

before uploaded, this text had italicized as well as underlined portions that have now been leveled to one style. as such the variant voices are less visible but still lurking. should be an (un)intelligible read. - nicky

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why aren’t I being hysterical? these desires are escapist I can only write essays by analyzing my own analyses these notions are recycled not concerned with knowing but how I came to know the body thru analysis I clearly have the privilege of belonging the pronoun shifts NO, THRU PAIN, OF FACT (kinship arrangements) THAT WE CANNOT EXTRICATE OURSELVES (where feminist studies once was) FROM OUR ENVIRONS only to have the disturbing element become commodified AND YET THAT THESE CAN’T BE UNIFIED EITHER applies to commodities its segmentations that force consciousness into a liquor store, or absorb it within a closed idea of totality I NEVER SOUGHT TO BE RESPECTABLE this positioning against chance amounts to oppression IN SUCH A SITUATION I shall want you to speak THE BODY IS A DERIVATIVE OF ITS ENVIRONMENT. RITUAL MOVES FROM CONCENTRATION TO PARTICIPATION BY WAY OF PAIN. PAIN=PERMEABILITY. WHAT WOULD A POETICS OF PERMEABILITY LOOK LIKE? is a capitalism compression of space-time that the text can only nourish this debate confront retrospectively no future tense in dreams How? And if the issue is how the present is always only retrospectively known through certain figures that limit our visibility to one another, how can we reconfigure the relationship between temporality and textuality so as to be not representational but coeval conditions of the other that only together, in the inbetweenness, produce a form? neither compound nor mixture adequately represents the sample A HABIT WITHOUT NEED HAS NO DESIRE THAT CAN’T BE PUBLIC. DOES HABIT WITHOUT USE VALUE=RITUAL? HABIT FOR HABIT’S SAKE? RITUAL (love’s savage splendor) KEEPS CONTENT SAFE AT THE COST OF WIDENING THE COTERIE. HOW CAN WE VULNERABILIZE SAFETY WITHOUT KILLING IT? So that the reflex capability of art is brought into real-time? This demands reading become the brink of fear a kind of embodiment, as much as the writing become a kind of record of its own production and our concern became the way these subjects are addressed not just as form=content equation that isolates what’s at stake WHAT IS AT STAKE? BODIES? riddled with bullets but that acknowledges the imbalances embedded in the idea of reciprocation, take this as a suggestion the ideologies dictating its prioritization the boom mikes one never sees that precondition what’s not domestic? the range of what’s performable SOMETIMES, DONATIONS END UP AT DUMPS and to articulate that displacement as an outsourcing and not an exclusion to calculate practice environmentally disobedience, to exist for exits IS IMPOSSIBLE this reads from left to right negatively locates the present identity in the non-terms of HISTORY what capitalist categoricals discipline heads it both transcends and is occulted by QUITE THE AESTHETIC SITUATION the paradoxical implacability of marginalization as central to identity SOME BLACK PEOPLE PASS FOR WHITE painful as it is exploitation is the site of pleasure whose reconciliation MEDIATION becomes a performance POST-COLONIAL TROPE concern THE STRUCTURALIZATION OF SILENCE cut to wide angle fuels this poem whose success the sum of hallucinations depends on how the differentials lie down THE TRANSEXUALITY OF FORM defined by our energy not by our gender in power play out, the institutionalization of violence demanding some kind of relationality across mediums chiefly northern this reads from pink to blue INTER-INSTITUTIONAL MAPPING whose dialogic structure how the scaffold of lights glare is more than just a multivalent perspective still at bottom re-asserting the dominance of the human, but an embodiment of this CEMENT movement between body and page pointless flesh that occupies as much as it observes read this as what you want to be today its own excesses, unpenetrated emptiness extending what we have in common THE REFUGE OF THE INACCESSIBLE by making what that is a contradiction ABJECTION so desire becomes the surveillance ACTIVISM DOESN’T REQUIRE A UNIFIED SUBJECT I’m playing the director role of our insufficiencies and poetry the space where difference becomes a matter of fluctuation, chaos a matter of chance, SAY WAR IS NOW whose narratives are not economies but ecologies do you agree? THE INTERSECTION OF MUTUAL AID AND ACCIDENT and here’s where I really start to feel bad the terrain of the psychoanalytic application of possibility that we this reads as a pronoun of confused emergences (emergencies) THIS RESEARCH IS EMOTIONAL experience as a incendiary beacon glimmer to be spat out later that as a phenomena or image is more than palliative versus someone already familiar with rubble it is what allows us to circumscribe the stage DRAW THIS LINE of contiguity a matter of temporary subordination to be heard outside our exile this reads as a refrigerator design THE HUNTED ALWAYS DWELL IN CAVES what’s left then is a pattern, the pleasure of contact with the enemy REPROACH THIS EXPLANATION until at last our situation is not imposed AND ITS BACKDROP OF CERTAINTY too alive to be art but democratically constructed ambiances of attraction where fulfillment is a kind of continuation we are going to undermine and orient the role played by the passive whose material roots CHARGE RENT informs their social activity read life as a side-project LOVE through the struggle of grasping ourselves thru other things maybe a tree is too perfect and thru the body as a kind of inquiry not biologically determined read this as a scene of violation into whether desire is in some sense always a desire for recognition read this as an effect of the very power regime you seek to criticize and how this not very free and happy project implicates me (Nicky) and then there’s the suicide of showing where I thought BUT I DON’T THINK I WANT (to think I want to think I want I?) with my ear decidedly to the text he’s one of those rare academics as encumbered shadow and as macho alien object miming host whose hands are full of fixed projections cautioning the importance of light (what you look for inside your closet 100 percent of the time).