Screens Between You and Me

This is very effective. it is effecting this entire room. we have gotten outside the conventional structure of lecture. perhaps it was by (not)chance that we were able to drop our preconceived notions of classroom structure, so that we might blur the distinctions between lecture and writing and inner-monologue. the pauses that are necessary for your speech to take, so that you might become more able to silently(visually) articulate (thoughts)words.

CAN WE BREAK DOWN THE BINARY SIMPLY BY POINTING AT IT?

I’m Scared|--------------answers-----------------|Of What?

losing myself, losing myself in/to/for everyone here?  (is this really the (UN)desired.

we take the space that this format provides to formulate. to ideas. to formulate ideas.

IS He asking ME what is on My mind?   really? really really?

oh subject-object, that I can get into. Yes! Familiarity only through/by pattern recognition. What if we took the grid off (chance operations HAH!) we are not over-laying a grid, but deconstructing the one that is already present. Break down the patterns of recognition, the necessary distinctions that we inevitably maintain within our own minds/worlds.

ABSURDITY|----------------------UNCERTAINTY---------------------------|HONESTY

à??ß  

accessing the [TRUE] : Out-Playing the Paradigm

he has stepped away from the podium, and stepped more into the conventional mode of lecture. (this. this space out here. is his natural space, his chosen element for lecture.) the podium becomes a tool for performance. the room a stage for discussion/oration(knowledge transmission).

listening to one another, being in dialogue, creating a gathering with one another. What does it mean to be a knowing subject in relation to other subjects?

IT-is desire? (one should not mistake silence and stillness for docility)

extracting the ambiguity of our existence. breaking down the distinction between the HE-SHE. How might one….fuck, how might the many? How might WE ALL?

no-ledge know-ledge knowledge no-ledge kn-ow k-nowledge now-ledge nowl-edge

what is the statement? I mean…this is not how I learn. I am trying hear. no no no this is wrong. how are we being effective. and yes, where are you trying to get us, where might we get to!?

EVERYONE BACK IN THE BOX!!

no we are not in this class we are paying to learn. and whether or not we like to shrug off these distinctions you are receiving payment to teach. we have already entered into the construct of the undesired. how is it that we can get outside of the box when we are sitting in it? no no ! no! lets just eat it. maybe that is not the last resort, but the first step necessary in order that we might enact this practice. PRAXIS! this is the privilege of though of art. and perhaps maybe this strike is the privileged manifestation of labor.

GIVE ME (I want my) Idealistic Manifesting

oh yes maps and cartography…discerning formal symbols and indications. taking up that which we wish to get out of in order that we might what? tear it apart? change it? reclaim it? ACtiVism again? eh? ugh.

The Silence in between what I am saying. You have successfully created the space for silence. but a (non)silence. the space that we might view the visual manifesting of the unspoken substratum of our communication our discourse.

the ellipses implies a desire…a fear of silence, a desire for a filling, a filling up of the void with communication. or at least stumbling utterances of articulation to supply my (what was it) ceaseless body agitated bones. all these tired twisted impulses towards an activity, and action, an escape.

sit still. why is it really that we cannot sit still and examine the space of another’s face. wait wait wait…I amnot policing myself, you cannot put that on me, that I am not speaking, that I am not demanding….do not assume that I am not voicing or desiring. I am enacting with every thought which is not unlike and word which is similar to your movements which is (wait what!? this is a lot more than what? most people on the planet!? “dicking around” is that what we are doing….which is…what. maybe you ought not to speak, perhaps unless you are able to listen to yourself and the selves of others).

I definitely feel gushier on the outside. on fridays in the early afternoons.

The Divide:

divide to define the space between
our eyes
your own set
and then my own complicated
calculating gaze—
—return gaze
that we are inevitably divided
gulfed
and yet engulfed by the imposed proximity
divided inexplicably from one’s self
the divide of binaries
that plague existence
divides so much so that
even though my task
is to look only at you
my attention is necessarily divided
between my eyes
vying for dominance
flicking back and forth
between the divide of yours
our gaze is a reconciling
of the space between our eyes

YOURS|-------------------------------------------|MINE
(eyes)(eyes)_--_-_--__---_—--_—_(eyes)(eyes)

Desiring pain…is pain not defined by that which we don’t desire. I mean pain is identifiable as something that is antagonizing or impeding or crushing our desires. and when you try to enact a dead desire to bring something closer to an image of the past, it will only ever result in imaginations and not manifestations.

think beyond what we ascribe to words and let the ambiguity adapt to our experience. focus on the deeper connection rather than comodifying everything through individual words. out playing predication.

[                ] annoys me. (what does that have to do with it….with what are they is saying? It is what they say that annoys me though. Then let go, let go of your own preconceived held notions of what you ascribe to the words that are coming out of their mouth…

how is it that we can (UN)word things?

010111001011010100101101011101000010

in the calculus of civil disobedience

Silence is the Object Cause of the Desire to Listen-------------------To Restore Silence is the Role of Objects

The link between these two and the oscillations back and forth between must somehow produce this Soundscape: of Struggle

can you demand (either of you) really that we produce our desires. in words, aloud, or in the ears of others, our neighbors, our friends and colleagues. but look wait, watch, this room is not silent…listen to the non-silence in the face of silence.

how do we delete any one person from the equation. you have already been so influential in the equation that is this class, I mean more than influential. could that perhaps be something that is so easily cast off. can we militantly listen to each other outside of the confines of classroom and professor and colleagues collaborators.

(look look you have done it once more, you are doing it why you are pointing at it. only once you invited an OTHER to the podium, to stand in as a prop in the play (or the playing out of (which would be actually desired to be out playing)) of the paradigm of professor and students. classroom and lecture, could you come and sit amongst us and then orate at us (within us) more comfortably more honestly and fully for you. that is perhaps maybe your desire. the desire to transcend the boundary of the economical exchange of the classroom. How can we actually make poetry together. is this a thing that is possible.

can you train us to do this? is this a thing that can be trained engrained taught? are you interested in doing this among us? can you engage your silence within the construct of this? I mean really can you? Maybe this is the idealistic impossibility that we are all (that I am all) after…and it cannot happen.

Okay LET ME OUT, let me BACK OUT of this BOX!! I want a place a space a situation in which I can collaborate and fully and honestly outside of the construct of the imposed economy the interpersonal the institutional the global. What are the conditions of the possibility for listening to, writing with, creating for one another outside the confines of the classroom, the artistic community, the places where this is more than accepted it is required that we participate in order to count ourselves among the many. Why is it that we cannot do this outside of being the over or under privileged. We must give you all of our money so that we might be able to exist within the construct of  HUGS…hugs are happening and they are simultaneously assuaging and fueling my rage.  But for the sake of conclusion…why is it that we can only make art in schools or in poverty? Why can we only have thoughts or actions, why are these things mutually exclusive in so many circumstances.

Listen. No really Listen to me.

I was able to FIND my DESIRE within the construct of this classroom today.

We should never use the language of should.                                                       “You should give me a hug.”

I can invite you to the laying bare. I can only ever invite you to engage and enact and interact. I invite you to an intercourse. with me. with others. real labor. real love. and I mean it is only due to the limitations of my body that I do not fall to and literally engage in the physical act of making love with everyone. for there is no difference to how I uphold this philosophy and principle in my mind. That is my desire, and not in that alienation way, and not in that hippy-dippy way, I really want there to be no difference between the work that we do, the things we create together, and the love making that we are engaging in. You are my lovers. Parts of my body. Don’t Hug me…Touch me.